vault backup: 2025-07-19 04:05:01
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CrazyJasonwell committed
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"description": "人民日报社主管主办，原名《文史参考》，“真相、趣味、良知”，为学术界搭建话语平台，为新锐者提供思想阵地，为文史爱好者营造精神家园。",
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"title": "众望所归的长子和“空降争产”的幼子，谁才是皇帝心中的继承人？",
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"description": "<div><div><div class=\"rich_media_content\" id=\"js_content\"><section style=\"margin: 8px; padding: 0px; white-space: normal; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.5em;\"><img class=\"rich_pages js_insertlocalimg wxw-img __bg_gif\" src=\"http://img2.jintiankansha.me/get?src=http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_gif/laADTC8BCK6M7Nv6wvsPyLPCsN7uraAJxdXiby5XB2BE6S0ulr9Fs213uZ85nlxAalcgRcLFiaSVdOVlrtCZRibIw/640?wx_fmt=gif\" /></section><section><span><br /></span></section><section style=\"text-align: center; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><img class=\"rich_pages wxw-img\" src=\"http://img2.jintiankansha.me/get?src=http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/laADTC8BCK7tU4icPKu2sc2yGysBwmGLwViaiatqmXdYee1kHG91Zuf3aic4aR2L2icXjESgyBhNr9a47Y8f1kRW8ew/640?wx_fmt=png&from=appmsg\" style=\"height: auto !important;\" type=\"block\" /></section><section><span><span><br /></span></span></section><section><span><span>本 文 约 3300 字</span><span><br /></span></span></section><section><section label=\"Powered by 135editor.com\"><section><span><span>阅 读 需 要 12 分钟</span></span></section></section></section><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><br /></span></p><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><strong><span><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\">理应成为继承人的长子扶苏，为何会被突然出现的幼子胡亥分掉胜利果实？</span></span></strong></p><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><br /></span></p><section style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><img class=\"rich_pages wxw-img js_insertlocalimg\" src=\"http://img2.jintiankansha.me/get?src=http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/laADTC8BCK5OEdH3vUVZXHSvUSsfHKzXn2feayKfNJib2VmnosI6HzicEs5oI9EY2eGFMOs2Lia1T1hx20gQNq3vw/640?wx_fmt=png&from=appmsg\" style=\"height: auto !important;\" /></section><section style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><img class=\"rich_pages wxw-img js_insertlocalimg\" src=\"http://img2.jintiankansha.me/get?src=http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_jpg/laADTC8BCK5OEdH3vUVZXHSvUSsfHKzXQquoZXsjiaDpgibphqT1unqlr120Qewe6kBx9y99leo2pBQAGW8QONvg/640?wx_fmt=jpeg\" style=\"width: 350px; height: auto !important;\" /></section><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><span><br /></span></span></p><section><section style=\"margin: 8px; line-height: 1.75em;\"><section style=\"display: flex; width: 658px;\"><section style=\"display: flex;\"><section style=\"padding: 6px 12px; text-align: center; border-width: 1px 0px; border-top-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(98, 98, 98); border-bottom-color: rgb(98, 98, 98); border-left-color: initial; border-right-color: initial;\"><p style=\"font-family: PingFangSC-Medium, ;\"><span style=\"font-size: 17px;\"><span>“扶苏当立”？</span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span></span></p></section></section></section></section></section><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><br /></span></p><p></p><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><span>《史记》中对于扶苏身份的圈定非常明确，首先是“始皇有二十馀子，长子扶苏”，即确定了扶苏是秦始皇二十余个子嗣中的最长者。再者可以确定的是，扶苏为长子但并非太子。</span></span></p><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><br /></span></p><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><span>秦始皇自登上秦国王位之初就没有关于确立嫡子的记载，这种继承人悬而未决的状态在秦国历史上并不少见。秦献公以前，“秦以往者数易君，君臣乖乱”，直到秦Line truncated
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"content": "<div><div><div class=\"rich_media_content\" id=\"js_content\"><section style=\"margin: 8px; padding: 0px; white-space: normal; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.5em;\"><img class=\"rich_pages js_insertlocalimg wxw-img __bg_gif\" src=\"http://img2.jintiankansha.me/get?src=http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_gif/laADTC8BCK6M7Nv6wvsPyLPCsN7uraAJxdXiby5XB2BE6S0ulr9Fs213uZ85nlxAalcgRcLFiaSVdOVlrtCZRibIw/640?wx_fmt=gif\" /></section><section><span><br /></span></section><section style=\"text-align: center; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><img class=\"rich_pages wxw-img\" src=\"http://img2.jintiankansha.me/get?src=http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/laADTC8BCK7tU4icPKu2sc2yGysBwmGLwViaiatqmXdYee1kHG91Zuf3aic4aR2L2icXjESgyBhNr9a47Y8f1kRW8ew/640?wx_fmt=png&from=appmsg\" style=\"height: auto !important;\" type=\"block\" /></section><section><span><span><br /></span></span></section><section><span><span>本 文 约 3300 字</span><span><br /></span></span></section><section><section label=\"Powered by 135editor.com\"><section><span><span>阅 读 需 要 12 分钟</span></span></section></section></section><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><br /></span></p><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><strong><span><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\">理应成为继承人的长子扶苏，为何会被突然出现的幼子胡亥分掉胜利果实？</span></span></strong></p><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><br /></span></p><section style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><img class=\"rich_pages wxw-img js_insertlocalimg\" src=\"http://img2.jintiankansha.me/get?src=http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/laADTC8BCK5OEdH3vUVZXHSvUSsfHKzXn2feayKfNJib2VmnosI6HzicEs5oI9EY2eGFMOs2Lia1T1hx20gQNq3vw/640?wx_fmt=png&from=appmsg\" style=\"height: auto !important;\" /></section><section style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><img class=\"rich_pages wxw-img js_insertlocalimg\" src=\"http://img2.jintiankansha.me/get?src=http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_jpg/laADTC8BCK5OEdH3vUVZXHSvUSsfHKzXQquoZXsjiaDpgibphqT1unqlr120Qewe6kBx9y99leo2pBQAGW8QONvg/640?wx_fmt=jpeg\" style=\"width: 350px; height: auto !important;\" /></section><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><span><br /></span></span></p><section><section style=\"margin: 8px; line-height: 1.75em;\"><section style=\"display: flex; width: 658px;\"><section style=\"display: flex;\"><section style=\"padding: 6px 12px; text-align: center; border-width: 1px 0px; border-top-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(98, 98, 98); border-bottom-color: rgb(98, 98, 98); border-left-color: initial; border-right-color: initial;\"><p style=\"font-family: PingFangSC-Medium, ;\"><span style=\"font-size: 17px;\"><span>“扶苏当立”？</span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span><span style=\"display: none; line-height: 0px;\"><span></span></span></span></p></section></section></section></section></section><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><br /></span></p><p></p><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><span>《史记》中对于扶苏身份的圈定非常明确，首先是“始皇有二十馀子，长子扶苏”，即确定了扶苏是秦始皇二十余个子嗣中的最长者。再者可以确定的是，扶苏为长子但并非太子。</span></span></p><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><br /></span></p><p style=\"margin: 8px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><span>秦始皇自登上秦国王位之初就没有关于确立嫡子的记载，这种继承人悬而未决的状态在秦国历史上并不少见。秦献公以前，“秦以往者数易君，君臣乖乱”，直到秦孝公Line truncated
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"pubDate": "Fri, 18 Jul 2025 19:20:00 +0800",
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"hash": "436d079abe1bc6f6163ea82b50a1d8fc",
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{
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"title": "甲骨文里为什么会有现代的表情包？",
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"description": "<div><div><div class=\"rich_media_content\" id=\"js_content\"><section style=\"margin: 8px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; white-space: normal; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><img class=\"rich_pages js_insertlocalimg wxw-img\" src=\"http://img2.jintiankansha.me/get?src=http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_gif/laADTC8BCK6M7Nv6wvsPyLPCsN7uraAJxdXiby5XB2BE6S0ulr9Fs213uZ85nlxAalcgRcLFiaSVdOVlrtCZRibIw/640?wx_fmt=gif\" style=\"display: inline; height: auto !important;\" /></span><span><br /></span></section><section style=\"margin: 8px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; white-space: normal; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><br /></span></section><section style=\"text-align: center; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><img class=\"rich_pages wxw-img\" src=\"http://img2.jintiankansha.me/get?src=http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/laADTC8BCK7tU4icPKu2sc2yGysBwmGLwjGdR1os8slc8qzWPFs1xnAJg0ECYng4RpSNHCkPrxSYrUrnLbLSSibQ/640?wx_fmt=png&from=appmsg\" style=\"height: auto !important;\" type=\"block\" /></section><section style=\"margin: 8px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; white-space: normal; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><span><br /></span></span></section><section style=\"margin: 8px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; white-space: normal; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em;\"><span><span>本 文 约 3800 字</span><span><br /></span></span></section><section style=\"margin-bottom: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; white-space: normal;\"><section label=\"Powered by 135editor.com\" style=\"margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><section><span style=\"color: rgb(178, 178, 178); font-size: 12px;\"><span>阅 读 需 要 13 分 钟</span></span></section></section></section><p style=\"line-height: 1.75em; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><font face=\"宋体\"><span><br /></span></font><span><p></p></span></p><p style=\"line-height: 1.75em; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><font face=\"宋体\"><span>作为中国早期象形文字，甲骨文生动形象，奥妙无穷。甲骨文字形中最常见的图案就是小人，坐着的、躺着的、洗脸的、互相揪头发的、上演</span></font><font face=\"宋体\"><span>“她逃他追插翅难飞”的……一句话：只有现代人想不到的，没有古人画不出来的。</span></font></p><p style=\"line-height: 1.75em; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><span><br /></span></p><p style=\"line-height: 1.75em; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><font face=\"宋体\"><span>除了小人，甲骨文中还有许多有趣的符号，一些字中甚至出现了</span></font><font face=\"宋体\"><span>“单箭头”和“表情包”。例如下面这个字——</span></font></p><p style=\"line-height: 1.75em; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><span><br /></span></p><section style=\"text-align: center; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><img class=\"rich_pages wxw-img\" src=\"http://img2.jintiankansha.me/get?src=http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/laADTC8BCK7iaf1HQLqRRQDjL2XrSHtGCWHxTLib7rIibGgjrTWOickQvOtkiaMOBEF3Vq8w0xibCTnZpu7vouiblzIsw/640?wx_fmt=png&from=appmsg\" style=\"height: auto !important;\" type=\"block\" /></section><p style=\"line-height: 1.75em; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><span><br /></span></p><p style=\"line-height: 1.75em; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><font face=\"宋体\"><span>眼熟吗，像不像生气表情包</span></font><font face=\"宋体\"><span>？</span></font></p><p style=\"line-height: 1.75em; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><font face=\"宋体\"><span><br /></span></font></p><p style=\"line-height: 1.75em; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><font face=\"宋体\"><span>古人真可爱，写字就写字，怎么还把自己写生气了？</span></font></p><p style=\"line-height: 1.75em; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><font face=\"宋体\"><span><br /></span></font><span><p></p></span></p><p style=\"line-height: 1.75em; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><font face=\"宋体\"><span>实际上，这个字和</span></font><font face=\"宋体\"><span>“生气”一词八竿子打不着。它是一个很常见的汉字——“行”。</span></font></p><p style=\"line-height: 1.75em; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><font face=\"宋体\"><span><br /></span></font></p><section style=\"text-align: center; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\"><img class=\"rich_pages wxw-img\" src=\"http://img2.jintiankansha.me/get?src=http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/laADTC8BCK7iaf1HQLqRRQDjL2XrSHtGC2kCAw5DGXLiaDYEvbBeibaQLIB6WZ16CMBwx0SrH9TUre2pYwx8v2jFg/640?wx_fmt=png&from=appmsg\" style=\Line truncated
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@@ -1539,28 +1561,6 @@
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"hash": "5065d20560e67caad42abda2bbbdb776",
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"title": "时隔 1352 天，Foxmail 诈尸级两连更，更新了什么？",
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"description": "Foxmail 在时隔 1352 天之后，连续进行了 2 个小版本更新，最新版为 2025-07-16 更新的 Foxmail 7.2.25.427 版本。距上一次更新（2021-11-03）已经4年 ",
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"content": "\n<p><strong>Foxmail</strong> 在时隔 1352 天之后，连续进行了 2 个小版本更新，最新版为 2025-07-16 更新的 <strong>Foxmail</strong> <strong>7.2.25.427</strong> 版本。距上一次更新（2021-11-03）已经4年，上一个版本为 <strong>Foxmail 7.2.23</strong>。@<a href=\"https://www.appinn.com/foxmail-7-2-25-427/\">Appinn</a></p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1608\" height=\"700\" src=\"https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Copy-of-appinn-homework-2025-07-17T173234.900.jpg\" alt=\"时隔 1352 天，Foxmail 诈尸级两连更，更新了什么？ 12\" class=\"wp-image-52848\" title=\"时隔 1352 天，Foxmail 诈尸级两连更，更新了什么？ 12\" srcset=\"https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Copy-of-appinn-homework-2025-07-17T173234.900.jpg 1608w, https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Copy-of-appinn-homework-2025-07-17T173234.900-768x334.jpg 768w, https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Copy-of-appinn-homework-2025-07-17T173234.900-1536x669.jpg 1536w, https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Copy-of-appinn-homework-2025-07-17T173234.900-804x350.jpg 804w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1608px) 100vw, 1608px\" /></figure>\n\n\n\n<p>感谢 @WιΛΛιam 同学的提醒。</p>\n\n\n\n<p>作为手握 6 位数邮件的专业人士，@WιΛΛιam 说：</p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1134\" height=\"1174\" src=\"https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Screen-20250717172303@2x.avif\" alt=\"时隔 1352 天，Foxmail 诈尸级两连更，更新了什么？ 13\" class=\"wp-image-52847\" title=\"时隔 1352 天，Foxmail 诈尸级两连更，更新了什么？ 13\" srcset=\"https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Screen-20250717172303@2x.avif 1134w, https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Screen-20250717172303@2x-768x795.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1134px) 100vw, 1134px\" /></figure>\n\n\n\n<p>这是前几天，7月10号的更新。昨天，又有了更新：</p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"564\" height=\"258\" src=\"https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Screen-20250717173327@2x.avif\" alt=\"时隔 1352 天，Foxmail 诈尸级两连更，更新了什么？ 14\" class=\"wp-image-52849\" style=\"width:481px;height:auto\" title=\"时隔 1352 天，Foxmail 诈尸级两连更，更新了什么？ 14\"></figure>\n\n\n\n<p>版本号没有变化，但是小版本号更新了。</p>\n\n\n\n<p>未防止大家忘记 Foxmail 长什么样，青小蛙专门下载回来，安装试试：</p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1562\" height=\"1027\" src=\"https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Screen-20250717173601@2x.avif\" alt=\"时隔 1352 天，Foxmail 诈尸级两连更，更新了什么？ 15\" class=\"wp-image-52850\" title=\"时隔 1352 天，Foxmail 诈尸级两连更，更新了什么？ 15\" srcset=\"https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Screen-20250717173601@2x.avif 1562w, https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Screen-20250717173601@2x-768x505.jpg 768w, https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Screen-20250717173601@2x-1536x1010.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1562px) 100vw, 1562px\" /></figure>\n\n\n\n<p>不过具体更新了什么…</p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">不知道啊</h2>\n\n\n\n<p>但目前为止，无法感知更新了什么，甚至 @WιΛΛιam 同学也没感觉出来：</p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1258\" height=\"1404\" src=\"https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Screen-20250717173739@2x.avif\" alt=\"时隔 1352 天，Foxmail 诈尸级两连更，更新了什么？ 16\" class=\"wp-image-52851\" title=\"时隔 1352 天，Foxmail 诈尸级两连更，更新了什么？ 16\" srcset=\"https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Screen-20250717173739@2x.avif 1258w, https://do-cdn.appinn.com/static3/images/2025/07/Screen-20250717173739@2x-768x857.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1258px) 100vw, 1258px\" /></figure>\n\n\n\n<p>不过鉴于现在使用邮件的用户已经很少了，大家知道这件事就好了。</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Foxmail 还活着。</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mac 版本更新至 1.5.8.94590。</p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Foxmail 是什么？</h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Foxmail 是一款的免费电子邮件客户端软件，于 1997 年由微信创始人<strong>张小龙</strong>开发，2005 年被腾讯收购。Foxmail 支持<strong>收发和管理多种邮箱账户</strong>，兼容 IMAP、SMTP 和 POP3 协议，可以连接包括 QQ邮箱、Gmail、Outlook 等各类主流邮箱服务。它具备简洁的界面、高效的邮件管理、日历、联系人、RSS订阅、邮件加密、数字签名和垃圾邮件过滤等功能。<Line truncated
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"title": "当回避型依恋开始回避你时她（他）的内心活动是怎样的？",
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"description": "<div><img src=\"http://pic1.zhimg.com/v2-68218a6232c69830b140c7f054d64273_fhd.jpg?source=8673f162\" alt=\"头图\"/><div><div>\n<p>众多回答都告诉题主了，回避型依恋的特征不愿意和爱人亲密。这种不愿意体现在高度的<strong>亲密回避</strong>，以及极低的<strong>被弃焦虑</strong>，而这两个点也正是 AAS（成人依恋量表）中的两个维度。</p>\n<p>作为咨询师，我会通过认知行为理论和客体关系理论来讲一下这两点到底意味着什么。</p>\n<p>首先先从<strong>认知行为模式（Cognitive Behavior Therapy）</strong>的角度来说一下。亲密回避很好理解，就是避免与你有“过度”的亲密接触。因为这些亲密接触，都会给 TA 一种不安感。</p>\n<p><strong><strong>一、回避亲密的根源在于自我否定</strong></strong></p>\n<p>这种不安是来自于童年婴儿时期的，TA 的父母因为照顾得并不好，所以让 TA 内心深处一直对自己说<strong>：</strong></p>\n<p><strong>我不够好，没有人会来帮助我。</strong></p>\n<p>慢慢随着他长大，这个内心想法开始逐渐演化成了一种<strong>很自然的想法</strong>，或者说是生活规则。由于没有人来帮助我。所以，万事不能靠别人，只能靠自己。最终演化为：</p>\n<p><strong>别人介入一定会坏事，只有自己是能信任的人</strong></p>\n<p>所以通过这个思考回路，TA 也会觉得在感情中也不能靠别人。也就是说，在亲密关系中，TA 依然认为相信别人，或者“过度”依赖别人，会导致“坏事”。所以为了避免这种情况，TA 就会刻意的保持一种若即若离的状态。</p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>内心深处：我不够好，没人会帮助我</strong></li>\n<li><strong>行为习惯：别人不可相信，只能相信自己</strong></li>\n<li><strong>情绪感受：一旦亲密就会感觉到不安全</strong></li>\n</ol>\n<figure><img src=\"http://pica.zhimg.com/v2-fed7fb38c178ecbedb4d16bc6a9df0e4_720w.jpg?source=8673f162\" alt=\"\"></figure>\n<p>TA 之所以会表现出不耐烦以及烦躁，甚至故意做出故意疏远你的行为。其实就是因为 TA 一直都是靠自己生活的，从小到大这已经深深的刻进了 TA 的行为模式之中。所以一旦你和 TA 靠的太近，就会让 TA 陷入一种非常陌生的环境之中。</p>\n<p>当我们进入一个完全陌生的环境中时，也会全身肌肉紧绷，随时准备逃跑。而 TA 在亲密关系中，也就相当于进入了一个 TA 完全不适应的环境之中，让 TA 产生了应激反应：</p>\n<p><strong>本能的排斥并且想要回避你。</strong></p>\n<p>但是需要强调的是，TA 的这种想法和逻辑，都是埋藏在潜意识层面一下的。大部分人看到蜘蛛就心里发毛，这是因为天生的经验在告诉我们蜘蛛很危险。TA 的回避也是一样的，TA 一但和你亲密就觉得难受，不过 TA 并不能知道为什么难受。所以你如果问 TA，得到的答案可能会很模棱两可：</p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>“我就是觉得两个人一起久了太腻了”</em></li>\n<li><em>“我喜欢一个人”</em></li>\n<li><em>“我也不知道为什么，就是觉得不舒服”</em></li>\n</ul>\n<p>TA 可以丰富的向你描述 TA 的感受，但是真要让 TA 说出一个所以然来，是很困难的。因为自动想法部分，多是停留在意识层面之下，也就是说这一套机制是不受意识的自我检查的。</p>\n<p><strong>也就是说，这个想法先于自我判断对错的心理行为，TA 永远都不会知道自己为什么要这样，也永远不会思考这样到底对不对。</strong></p>\n<p>另外一个特征是<strong>很低的被弃焦虑</strong>。</p>\n<p>这也是回避型依恋相较于恐惧型与痴迷型来说，有着更好的稳定性的表现。<strong>低被弃焦虑，可以简单的理解为不怕你主动提分手，TA 比另外两种不安全依恋更容易接受这个结果。</strong>因为如此，回避型依恋的人相对而言会作的更少一点。</p>\n<p>然而你并不是完全的安全型依恋类型，多多少少你也会在亲密关系中感觉到不安全，有着一定程度的被弃焦虑，进而找 TA 寻求安全感。这个时候攻守易主，你成了所求的一方，TA 反而成了诉求少的一方。所以有些时候，TA 甚至会反过来觉得你很作，让 TA 感觉到很累很烦。</p>\n<p>比如在你寻求亲密行为的时候，很可能整个行为只是非常正常的一次亲密互动，但是依然会被他视作是一种过度的诉求，是一种作。面对这种“作”，无论他外在怎么做的，但 TA 的内心一定是排斥的，而且排斥的有理有据。</p>\n<p><strong>但是，需要强调的是：不怕被你分手，不意味着希望被你分手。</strong></p>\n<p>前面也说过，回避型依恋的 TA，在面Line truncated
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Reference in new issue
Block a user